Brains! Cauliflower Brains!

Three hundred sixty four days of the year, cauliflower is a gentle vegetable. So humble, so bland and unassuming, so eager to please. What other vegetable allows you to grate it to smithereens to make rice or mash it into submission or purée it until it’s creamy comfort in a bowl?

But one day a year, on October 31, when witches fly across the sky and demons crawl from the depths of the netherworld and zombies meander in search of sustenance, cauliflower becomes…

Candy, schmandy!

The really good stuff is brain food like power-packed protein and vegetables cooked with luscious fat. And since eating cauliflower makes you super smart, you won’t have to worry about someone trying to smash in our head with a 2 X 4.


Cauliflower Brains – 100% Zombie Approved

Prep 5 minutes | Cook 60-75 minutes | Serves 2-4 undead | Whole30 compliant

  • 1 head raw cauliflower

  • 2 tablespoons coconut oil, ghee or other fat, melted

  • 1/2 teaspoon salt

  • garnish: extra-virgin olive oil, coarse salt, lemon juice, chopped parsley or chives


Preheat oven to 400F. Cover a large baking sheet with parchment paper. Wash and carefully core the cauliflower, leaving the head intact.


Brush the head with the melted fat, completely covering all exposed surfaces, then sprinkle with the salt.


Bake until tender and golden brown, about 60 to 75 minutes.


To serve: Break the head into florets, then drizzle with olive oil and a squeeze of lemon juice, then sprinkle with a little coarse salt and the chopped parsley.

More Halloween Fun

Whole30 Reminds Us: Halloween Candy Is Not Special

Wil Wheaton Shares a Kickass Short Story: The Monster In My Closet

And just in case you fear a zombie infestation: The Zombie Attack Preparedness (ZAP) Workout

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