Take THAT, Hormone Poisoning

Gentlemen: If you’re squeamish, you might want to avert your eyes. I’m going to share some girly details with my lady friends. You’re welcome to stick around ’cause I’m going to talk about lifting heavy stuff, too.

So, yeah. Hormone poisoning. I’ve talked about the joys of being a girl before: the dropsies, the emotional outbursts, the sleeplessness, the excruciating cramps, and lackluster workouts. All for the privilege of having children, which is something I don’t want to do anyway. It’s an enormously frustrating way to burn through, like, seven days a month.

Except this month, it’s only been three days.

I only vaguely got the dropsies. (Hey! I didn’t walk into any doorframes this month!) I had ZERO emotional meltdowns. I had only one night of less sleep than I wanted with a weirdo dream in the middle. And just a day and a half of cramps.

Plus, my workouts for the last two days have been AWESOME.

I attribute this to two things:

1. I’ve eaten 100% clean for 32 days.
2. The Synthroid dose I’ve been on for the last three months seems to be the right one.

I’m honestly amazed at what I did in the gym this week – not because it’s objectively awesome, but because it’s damn good for ME. And I’m giving myself a gold star for finally, FINALLY making it to the craptastic gym to lift heavy. Tuesdays this month, I’m doing Coach Wes’s strength program on my own. Woot!

When Wes prescribes a movement, he also defines a tempo, which makes heavy lifting Hard. For example 40X0 on a back squat means:

  • lower for count of 4
  • hold 0 at the bottom
  • stand up
  • hold 0 at the top

And 42X2 means:

  • lower for count of 4
  • hold for count of 2 at the bottom
  • stand up
  • hold for count of 2 at the top

Trust me: that is some tricky business! Usually it means I can’t move as much weight, but this week, there was some magic happening!

Tuesday – Heavy Lifting
lunge walk, 50 steps
50# bar

back squat 5X5 @ 40X0
95 – 115 – 125 – 130 – 135

narrow grip OH squats 3X5 @ 42X2
45 – 55 – 65

HA! My previous 1RM for back squat was 140. But lookie that! One hundred thirty-five – FIVE times – at that excruciatingly slow tempo.

That was some serious fun.

Wednesday – CrossFit Austin

hip cleans: 5-5-5-3-3-3
rest 1:00 after 5s; rest 3:00 after 3s
45 – 65 – 75 – 80 – 85 – 90

4 rounds:
10 kip pullups, red band
10 box jumps, 20”
10 unbroken thrusters, 45#
3:00 rest
My time: 15:08

My 1RM on clean is 90… but woot! I moved that sucker three times almost without stopping. Love that.

Girly hormones can suck it. Synthroid and dino-chow trump estrogen. Neener.

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  • CarreyB says:

    Your last 3 sentences made my day.

  • The Wells Family says:

    Way to go! That's really awesome!

  • thegetinshapegirl says:

    That's badass Melissa. Getting your body in check is super important. Luckily, due to my tough workout regimen, I barely have a hormone poisoning monthly. Hopefully that means I'll be all set with never having kids too.

  • Ms. Martha Lilian says:

    That is awesome and it really gives me hope. I'm starting Synthroid tomorrow for hypothyroidism and I'm hoping that with the proper dosage I'll be able to sort out some of the issues that I've been having. It is really awesome to see the success that you're having!

  • Melissa 'Melicious' Joulwan says:

    CarreyB –> I kinda want to make a shirt 🙂

    Thank you, Wells Family!

    GetInShapeGirl –> I'm really hoping this trend continues and that it gets milder each month.

    Martha –> Good luck with your Synthroid. Feel free to shoot me an email if you need to vent or have any questions. I've been on a 2-year thyroid nodule/hypothyroid adventure, so I'm glad to share what I've learned.