O Dark Thirty

Seriously, people. When the alarm went off this morning I had this conversation with myself in, like, a nanosecond.

What is that noise?


Oh, it’s the alarm.

No, way! It’s time to get up already?! It can’t be time to get up already!

[fumble, rattle. look at alarm clock.]

CRAP! 5:55. It is time to get up already.

[turn off alarm, return eye mask to eyes]

I’ll just lie here for a minute then get up… or I could just go to CrossFit tomorrow. I’m tired. I should rest. I wonder if I lie here if I can go back to sleep. I could sleep until, like, 7:30!

[lie in eye mask, think about how eventually I need to go back to class. there will always be a ‘first workout back’ that needs to be conquered.]


And that’s how I got to my CrossFit class seven minutes early.

I’ve decided to pretend I’m new to CrossFit. There is no “I used to be able to…” or “I usually lift X-pounds…” I’m starting from faux scratch, all the better to avoid self-recrimination. I’ve been away from workouts and clean food for about a month, so although it’s not really starting from point zero, it’s kinda close.

I’ve always been pretty proud of my pushups, so they’re the thing that’s been most on my mind. In our warmup, we did three sets of five – down for three seconds, press up for a one-count. They were HARD, but I did them, so hooray! First day of pushups: survived.

Our WOD looked innocent enough.

7 rounds:
3 box jumps, high and fast
100m sprint
rest :90

The RX was the 24″ box, which I’ve never tried. Ever. Even when I was training with pretty fierce determination.

My box jump PR is 22.5″… so I decided to try a 20″ box with a 25-lb. plate on top to make it around 22″. Everyone put their boxes in place and did practice jumps. I did a few on the 20-incher… easy-peasy. Then I put the plate on top. Suddenly everyone was watching me, “You can do it, Mel. Don’t look at it. Just jump up there,” Tristy said.

So I swung my arms, and I  jumped… and my toes landed on top… and I halfway propelled off… and my arms spun out in a backwards windmill… and my feet did the cartoon yadda-yadda-yadda, trying to get traction with the floor… and I stumbled and windmilled and careened backwards… into the rack of foam rollers about four feet behind me. CRASH! My butt didn’t hit the floor, but it came close. I ended in a very graceful hideous half-squat, arms splayed out on the rack behind me.

CrossFit thighs earn one point for saving me from landing in an ass-plant on the floor.

Ego loses 10 points in the aftermath of a) missing a 22″ box jump; b) everyone in class watching said miss; and c) having to do box jumps in the workout that I would describe as neither “high” nor “fast”

The workout was pretty fun, though.

My time: 12:11.

I don’t really understand what’s happening in this photo. But somehow, it’s awesome.

Our New Project: Strong Sense of Place

My new project is taking all of my attention right now, and I'd love for you to join me for new adventures! It's called Strong...

Read More

Rants & Rave: 25 April 2020

We could all use some happy distractions right about now, right? Here are some of the things I found online lately that made me happy....

Read More


  • Angie says:

    Oh wow…I've only been over my fear of box jumps for about 5 months now. Don't think I'll be going up past 20" any time soon.

    Welcome (back) to CF! It's always so hard after a long vacation. But you know it's all worth it!

  • michele says:

    Aieeeeeeeee box jumps. My nemesis.

    My box has now spray painted "Crossfit Kids!" on the baby boxes (that is, the ones I have to use.) For even MORE embarrassment!

    Also, regarding morning workouts:

    Been reading your posts about alarm clock drama for months now, wondering if I'll ever be able to make the switch to morning workouts. Suddenly, in the past three weeks, I've heard both Robb Wolf and OPT speak in person, and both hammered on the importance of sleep and natural human body rhythms. OPT was very convincing on the topic of morning workouts.

    (His talk began at 8 AM and being there on time required me to get up 1.5 hrs earlier than I do for work. I made it.)

    I think it was a sign.



  • The Wells Family says:

    Welcome back to the wonderful world of WODs! And I HATE HATE HATE jumping on boxes! I can't believe I know someone else who is as "great" as I am at it!

    I like your attitude about being new to CF again and not trying to automatically get back to where you were, or feeling bad about not being where you were. Good for you!

  • Melissa 'Melicious' Joulwan says:

    Aw. You hate box jumps? Poor misunderstood box jumps! 🙂

    I actually love them a whole bunch — but a month away from them was not such a good idea. Although… it is kind of freeing to think of the whole thing as starting fresh. Mental tricks! Where would we be without them?