Taking Gluttony To A New Level

I’m all for the occasional indulgence. Food is not only necessary, it’s DELICIOUS, and sometimes a girl’s just got to have a few bites of an apple strudel. I am not the holier-than-thou food police. Sweet things, cheesy things, fried things… I love them. Or, more accurately, I enjoy good versions of them sometimes, when the planets are aligned just right, and I feel like I’ve been eating enough leafy green things to counteract potential sugar-grain damage.

But this list of the scariest restaurant foods (thanks, Mom!) makes me queasy. And angry. The worst offender? Denny’s and their Fried Cheese Melt. It’s a grilled cheese sandwich with FRIED CHEESE STICKS INSIDE.

Who in the world needs this? What human was crying out for this particular arrangement of ingredients?

I’ve spent the last 15 minutes wondering if pre-CrossFit, pre-dino-chow I would have thought this sounded like a good idea. I honestly don’t know what the ‘old me’ would have thought of this, but the now-me is super grossed out.

THAT IS NOT FOOD! That is product.

Here’s an NPR piece on this abomination. They’ve taken a light-hearted approach. I’m frowning.

How about y’all?

Naturally Delicious?

Did you hear that? It was the sound of me bashing my own skull against my coffee table. There I was, sipping Bengal Spice tea,...

Read More
Oh, Yeah? Observe THIS.

You know how some people need to learn to get in touch with their emotions? I'm definitely not one of those people. I know exactly...

Read More


  • Lydia says:

    I used to love fried cheese sticks, but I can say with 100% certainty that the idea of putting them between two pieces of white bread with fake-tan-orange processed cheese food product would've repulsed me.

    Not a single thing on that list of Scary Foods looks even remotely appealing to me.

  • Angie says:

    Wow. Even at my worst (fried monte-cristo sandwich dipped in honey anyone?) I would not have considered that Denny's Fried Cheese Melt as an option. OMG. *barf*

  • Lauren {Stylized Existence} says:

    I didn't tell you about the apple strudel guy in Prague did I? YOU MUST GO. He operates out of a little room in the basement of an apartment and you walk up and order from the window outside of his room. The strudels are like 12 inches long and cost about the equivalent of 3 USD. Amazing. The address is Jeseniova 29, Prague 3. Go!

  • Melissa 'Melicious' Joulwan says:

    Lauren, we're walking out to Prague 3 for strudel on the day we land! We get in before lunch, so we're eating in Old Town, checking into our apartment, then heading out for arm-size strudel!

  • Danni says:

    The bread would ruin the cheese sticks. Gross. I am clearly a purist :p

  • Melissa 'Melicious' Joulwan says:

    Danni! You made me laugh. I love the idea of being a cheese stick "Purist."

    Angie, I never thought of dipping a monte christo into honey — and now I can think of nothing else!

    Lydia, if you ate cheese sticks and orange fake cheese now, you would probably explode!

  • Melissa says:

    I love grilled cheeses and cheese sticks, so at first I thought "well, combining those can't be too bad.." until I saw the photo. GROSS!! The picture shows how repulsive the whole idea is.

  • Alli Link says:

    I love, love cheese! THAT creation is, however, disgusting!