Max Out Monday

The grouchies and weird stomach thing from yesterday rolled right on over into this morning. Boo!

After turning off my alarm, I accidentally fell asleep and jolted awake with a panicky start. “What TIME IS IT?!”

6:06… two minutes past get-out-of-bed time. No biggie, but my heart was doing that “did I sleep through Bootcamp?!” cha-cha. Not an auspicious way to start the day.

In the Deep Eddy parking lot, it was medium-cold and windy. My knees were creaky. My right shoulder was pinching. My attitude super sucked.


I went through the motions of the warmup: “Just don’t think about it. Do the moves; don’t think. An hour isn’t that long.”

Back at our stations after the lap around the parking lot that signifies the end of warmup and the official beginning of our workout, Crystal said the words I dread:


F**K ME! It’s assessment day.

But because she’s Crystal. And because she’s awesome. And because we’ve all been doing Bootcamp for a long time now, we weren’t doing our standard assessments; we were doing Max Out Monday.

Standard Assessments:
Squats: 4X max reps in 20 seconds, rest 10 seconds.
Pushups: Max reps in 1 minute
Situps: Max reps in 1 minute
Run: 2 laps around the parking lots (approx. 400m)

Max Out Monday:
Squats: 6X max reps in 20 seconds, rest 10 seconds.
Pushups: Max # reps in 5 minutes
Situps: 100 reps for time
Run: 8X 50m all-out sprint

I adore Crystal like a new puppy worships its master, but I wanted to punch her. Hard.

I didn’t. What I did instead was count my partner Annie’s squat reps and try to clear my noggin for my turn hovered over the med ball.

Something amazing/annoying/remarkable happened while I my quads burned and my lungs stung: I got happy.

Damn it all to hell. Stupid CrossFit.

My numbers:
Squats: 21 | 22 | 22 | 21| 22 | 21

Pushups: 76 in 5 minutes, touched my chest to the ground almost every time

100 Situps: 4:02 (call me “Slowest Situp-er in the West”)

Sprints, 50m: :08 | :08 | :09 | :08 | :08 |:08 | :08 | :08

After all that, there was still time for partner med ball work; Maggie and I teamed up with the 10-lb. ball.

12 left-arm rotation throws
12 right-arm rotation throws
15 backward overhead throw
15 3-tap Russian twist + chest pass

And then Monday didn’t suck quite so much anymore. Tummy is still weird, but I squatted and pushed and ran and threw those blues away.

(BTW: My mom called me from her cell in the car a few days ago. Mr. Ketz, a.k.a., gym teacher of my nightmares — the man solely responsible for making me dread any kind of fitness assessments — was in the traffic behind her. My nephew proclaimed him an “old man” and “dorky-looking.” My niece Pepper asked if he was the one who was “mean to Aunt Melissa” and then remarked, “He should see her now.” Indeed.)

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  • Erin Clare says:


    I love how you’re able to capture a gut feeling with: “F–K ME! It’s Assessment Day!”.

    ahh…Ass day. Nothing feels quite like it.

  • TheWhit says:

    LMAO!! I love reading your blog! Assessment day indeed… but I know how you feel about bootcamp/indoor chasing your blue’s away. That’s one of the many reasons I keep coming back for more Kool Aid 🙂

    Keep up the amazing work! Your assessment numbers are BADASS!!!

  • Christine White says:

    Yes, I know exactly how you felt… we did Fight Gone bad today. I was SOOOO happy when it was over!