Message Received

I love doughnuts.

One of my favorite memories of childhood is getting snowed in at my dad’s restaurant and making sugar doughnuts in the big kitchen.

But I almost never eat ’em. I’m pretty sure I haven’t had even a bite of a doughnut in more than a year.

According to the stats, 10 billion doughnuts are consumed in the U.S. annually — and the average person eats 33 doughnuts every year.

Clearly, someone is eating my share of the doughnuts.

And I think I saw her at HEB on Saturday.
I was beginning to entertain the idea of peeking into the bakery case for a doughnut hole when a rather large, unheathly-looking, and visibly unhappy woman brushed by me. She marched up to the display case, opened the door, and extracted a giant glazed doughnut.

The Universe definitely had my back at that moment. I gave my shopping cart a solid shove in th the opposite direction and banished all thoughts of fried rings of dough from my mind.

Something similar happened again this morning.

I was really craving a fatty or sugary treat last night, and this morning’s email delivered a message from my mom with this news story:

Man says he’s eaten 23,000 Big Macs since 1972

FOND DU LAC, Wis. – A 54-year-old man says his obsessive-compulsive disorder drove him to eat 23,000 Big Macs in 36 years.

Fifty-four-year-old Don Gorske says he hit the milestone last month, continuing a pleasurable obsession that began May 17, 1972 when he got his first car.

Gorske has kept every burger receipt in a box. He says he was always fascinated with numbers, and watching McDonald’s track its number of customers motivated him to track his own consumption.

The only day he skipped a Big Mac was the day his mother died, to respect her request.

The correctional-institution employee says he doesn’t care when people call his Big Mac obsession crazy. He says he’s in love with the burgers, which are the highlights of his days.

Man! I do not want a blob of unhealthy food to be the highlight of my day.

Message received, Universe. I’ll stop whining about wanting to eat garbage.