Who Doesn’t Love a Good Condiment?

My favorite would have to be peanut sauce — but does that qualify as a condiment?

According to the owner of the Condiment Packet Gallery, these are the site’s selection criteria:

With so many ways to package sauce, it is important to make rules when you decide to collect the packaging. I make these rules to give my collection a certain uniform appearance. The following rules make the collection more aesthetically pleasing and easy to maintain.

1. Only squeezable tear-off-the-corner packets
Dipping tubs, creamers, and butter tubs cannot be preserved to my liking, and are easily crushed or spilled.

2. No spices, salts, sugars, etc.
There are way too many different sugars, etc. Collecting these items makes my collection far too inclusive.

3. No extra large packets
I will make some rare exceptions, but generally they must fit in my PVC card holders. If I collected large packets, then I would have to consider packets that are included in boxes of food – such as fist-size taco sauces, etc. No thanks.

4. Very similar packets ARE acceptable
If two packets are only slightly different, ie: font variation on ingredient list, then both count separately for the collection.

Under those guidelines, my condiment of choice would either be duck sauce, balsamic vinaigrette, or hot sauce. (And in case you care, my favorite spice is cumin.)

Check out the Condiment Packet Gallery for yourself. It’s row upon row of condiment packets., and it’s beautiful and kitschy and sad, all at the same time. I mean, that’s a lot of people eatin’ on the run, ya know?

But it’s also portable deliciousness, so who I am to judge?

And I have to admit, I admire the obsessiveness and detail-orientation of the site’s owner. Look at the explanation of how the packets become part of the collection:

I carefully remove the contents of my packets by slicing open the back along the bottom seam with a sharp blade. I rinse the inside of the packets thoroughly to ensure all traces of sauce are expelled. I then wait until the packets are completely dry before I place them in baseball card cases to preserve them cleanly and safely for many generations.

There’s even a condiment submissions page!

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