A Real Pain in the Neck

Yeah, that joke never gets old.

I took my Frankenneck to the doctor for a follow-up today and got great news. The pathology report was back, and I definitely, absolutely, positively do not have thyroid cancer. Which means I get to keep the piece of thyroid they left me AND I don’t have to undergo radiation. When my neck is healed, this particular adventure will be over.

I’m so relieved.

The doc removed the tape from my incision so now it’s completely revealed: it’s a gnarly-looking slice — covered in medical super glue so it kinda looks like it’s under scotch tape — with a hole the size of a straw adjacent to it. A hole! In my neck! Lovely. I wear a scarf when I go out in public so as not to scare little children.

My mood and energy are vastly improved today, but the doctor and nurse cautioned me that my energy will probably fluctuate quite a bit over the next two weeks as my thyroid heals and the thyroid hormone production gets regulated.

Dave and I decided we should celebrate my official non-cancer status, so we went to the mall (um, ew) and I got these:
and these:
Aren’t those the tackiest, Vegas-y, most wonderful skinny jeans EVER?! They’re Deréon, which is so embarrassing and cheesy, it’s fantastic. I have an odd fascination with Beyoncé — or should I say Sasha Fierce — right now. The bodysuits! The taut+lush ponytail! The über-serious expression. I love how Beyoncé has, like ZERO sense of humor about herself. I mean, don’t you get the sense that she refers to herself in the third person? It’s so freakin’ awesome. So, yeah. I bought her gold jeans. In a tiny size, too.

And… I signed up for the I Am CrossFit Challenge in January. Yay! I know I’m going to have to take it easy when I go back to Bootcamp next Monday, and I can’t wait to return to my training program.

Think that was enough celebrating?!

Big ‘thank you’ hugs to all of you fabulous people who are sending texts and emails and phone messages to remind me that a) you’re out there; b) I should slack a little bit and enjoy my down time; and c) life will return to normal soon. I’m doing my damnedest to take your advice.

The timing is perfect because I couldn’t be more grateful for you. I’m a fortunate girl.

Happy Thanksgiving!