The Great Peariment 2008™: Round 3

We’re down to the final two rounds of The Great Peariment 2008™. The judges are staying true to their favorites thus far: Judge Joulwan = Asian and Judge Humphreys = Comise. But the Round 3 contenders seem promising.

Our judging criteria:

• Was it sweet or tart?
• How ’bout the texture?
• It would go well with…
• Celebrity it most reminds us of…

Round 3: French Butter vs. Red Bartlett vs. Texas Bartlett[French Butter on the left, Red Bartlett in the center, TX Bartlett on the right]

French Butter

• brownish-gold exterior
• soft, beige-y interior
• smells like wine (me) and kinda of earthy (Dave)
• browned quickly after cutting
• really soft texture (like buttah)
• kinda perfume-y in an unpleasant way
• $2.06 for one

Again, one of the judges (me) expelled her bite quickly. (Yeah, I had another spit-out.)

Would be good with … nothing. It was awful.

The celebrity that it most reminded us of was… the dotty, over-perfumed version of Elizabeth Taylor.

[Judge Joulwan would like the record to reflect that this pear was a huge disappointment. With a name like “French Butter” and a creamy interior, hopes were high — and then dashed upon the rocks of fruit-induced bait-and-switchery.]

Red Bartlett, a.k.a., StarKrimson

• attractive red exterior… like a pomegranate
• pleasing pear shape
• very firm
• a little perfume-y in odor
• crisp, eats like an apple
• good decorating pear
• $1.37 for one

Would be good… in a pie with cranberries and walnuts, or in a chutney.

The celebrity it most reminded us of was… Diane Lane.

Texas Bartlett

• mottled green and brown exterior
• squat in stature, not very pretty
• weak pear smell
• tough skin, but tastey inside
• really juicy
• much better than CA Bartlett
• $0.88 for one

Would be good with brie or in simmered dishes (label says it retains it’s shape after cooking). Best bargain pear!

The celebrity that it most reminded us of was… Steve Buscemi.

Stay tuned for the fourth and final installment of The Great Peariment 2008 tomorrow.