Deserted By Double-Unders + Bonus Barbell Dump

I went to bed at 8:00 p.m. last night. I’m like a toddler with a bedtime, crawling between the sheets while it’s still light outside! It was lovely, truth be told – and I got a glorious nine hours of sleep… which, oddly, didn’t make the alarm seem any friendlier at 5:53 a.m. I was even less excited when I saw the workout because I thought, That looks dumb. What I should have thought was, That looks like it will leave me a sweaty, wasted wreck.

Test 1: Cardio Hell
max cal airdyne in 3:00
max double-unders in 2:00
max meter row in 5:00
My score: 1099 Rx (meters + DUs + calories)

Ah, Satan’s Tricycle. It seems so unassuming at first, and then – like, 20 seconds into it – I look at the clock and cannot believe it’s been only 20 seconds. And then I got confused about how long we were stuck on the damn thing. I thought we were only going for two minutes, so I promised myself I’d “sprint” the last 30 seconds. Which I did. I was a f*cking champ from 1:30 to 2:00. And then I heard this loud crack – it was the sound of my heart breaking as I realized we had another minute left to go. It wasn’t pretty, and in my CrossFit-induced drunkiness, I didn’t take note of how many calories Satan chewed up. Coach Blake had my total, but my max cal is lost to the ages.

I stumbled to my jump rope and proceeded to eke out just two double-unders at at time. F*CK ME!

It was like this: single-single-single (mental deep breath) DU – DU – trip … over and over for two excrutiatingly long minutes.

At this point in our relationship, dear readers, I feel like I can confide in you my dark secrets. So here’s the truth: During the 5-minute row, I RESTED, like, three times. I didn’t just slow down for a few strokes to gather my wits and energy, I stopped. And sweated and panted. Ridiculous! But I did a little sneaky-peek at the results for today, and I think my total score stands up OK against the other ladies at the gym. (Although that ‘stop and rest thing’ mid-row is pretty bad. Oops.)


Then we rested for 10 minutes in preparation for part two.

Test 2: 3RM Snatch & Burpees
10:00 cutoff
– The first 3 minutes: warmup and load barbell
– The remaining 7 minutes: complete 3RM snatch then max burpees
My score:50# snatch + 50 burpees = 100

I always giggle when anyone uses the word ‘snatch’ at the gym. (I know! I’m like a third grader!) So it’s with great glee that I say, My snatch was disappointing this morning.


I think my current PR is 55# and today I did three reps of 50# and LANDED ON MY KEISTER on the second one. That’s right! I dumped the barbell and myself right onto the floor. WOOT! According to Coach Blake, my lift off was good but I bent my arms too soon. This is not the first time I’ve heard this particular critique. I can overhead squat 85#, and I can clean 85#, so I know there’s a better snatch in me somewhere. [Insert your own snatch jokes; I’ll wait.]

Anyway, I got my sorry ass up off the floor and did another snatch, then hit the burpees: sets of 10 unbroken ’til Coach Blake called ‘time.’ Fifty burpees. Not too bad for a taped-up shoulder at the end of a workout.

Then for fun, I did a :30 handstand against the wall and practiced moving my feet away for a millisecond to see if I can do it on my own yet. Um… not yet.


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  • Your ass is awesome and your snatch is too. Hahahahaha. I’m 8 yrs old! Anyway…today was horrible in a neverending cardio hell kind of way. I went to the bikes instead of the rope and lost about 45 seconds of jump time. I didn’t get one DU and only 68 singles. Dumb.

    And I did my rowing at warm up pace. I would not have managed one burpee if I had gone all out. So tough today. Tomorrow is another day, Scarlett!

  • Kylie says:

    It’s OK. Last night we did 55 (yes. 55.) over head squats and my wrists were not cooperating. I could hardly hold the bar and when I got my 1RM (95#) up I yelled the “f” word. Then the mother of the 6 year old waiting for our class to finish glared at me.

    Then I scraped the back of my neck on the bar.

    Then I said screw it and went home to a post WOD cock tail and a tried to find ways to cover up the huge scrap on the back of my neck.


  • Gina says:

    You are a rockstar and I LOVE reading your crossfit posts. I have four kids and started crossfit for the first time 5 weeks postpartum with my fourth baby. It has been kicking my arse in the best way ever. I’m inspired by you and even though most of the time I’m still the last one to finish most wods I’m improving in my own personal book. I did “Annie” a few months ago (lots of double unders) and PR’d my time by 13:30!! I still have one of the slowest times but holy jeez…I impressed the crap out of myself with that improvement. I impressed my coaches, too.
    I love the family type environment at our gym. It’s accepting, encouraging and loving.
    Get those snatches, girl. OH and when I was having a SUPER hard time with my double unders, I watched this video and it REALLY helped. I improved SO much after watching this and practicing…I was able to get 28 in a ROW!!

    Oh and I also got my very first pull up EVER the other day. I had the BIGGEST grin on my face for about a week over that feat. Pretty much the best feeling ever.

    • Janice says:

      Whoo-hoo! Congratulations on your first pull-up! 🙂 I’m still dreaming about my first unassisted chin-up.

      I’m with you on talking about “snatch”. It’s even funnier if it gets mentioned outside the gym around people who don’t Crossfit. The “TMI” looks are pretty precious.

      Today was my first time using the airdynes. Satan’s Tricycle is definitely more accurate. I felt like a rag doll on that thing with my limbs going all akimbo.

  • sarena says:

    Wowza, that sounds intense. My WOD yesterday was no better…lol…First it was 3 heavy snatch liftoffs, pulls, then 1 SN (light)…this was done like 7 times I believe. Then coach said 2K row for time. I thought I would pass out.

    The day before was 7 rounds of 200m run, 3 heavy back squats and I for get the cash out and the day before was max rep thrusters in 7 minutes….and some godforsaken cash out too!

    It’s been a full week and we arent even done yet!

  • freaking double unders…the bane of my existence…..I look at the people knocking out like 20 in a row and im pretty sure they must be some form of super hero in disguise.

  • sarena says:

    Ha, Jason my coach did 145 in a competition consecutive!